Save Suri! Game

While the world awaits its first look at the mysterious TomKitten, the rumors run wild. Was Katie even pregnant? Her ever-changing belly, documented on countless blogs, caused many to wonder. That she seemed to be pregnant for much longer than 9 months was also a curiosity. Theories I’ve read include:
She wasn’t pregnant, it was a fake belly, and they’re waiting for the adopted kid to be delivered before they sell photo ops; they’re running into legal/monetary snags with the mother who is giving up her baby

She had a kid, but it was her ex boyfriend’s, so they’re waiting for the difference between a 5 month old and a 2 month old not to be as glaringly obvious as between a 3 month old and a newborn; she had a kid, but the baby isn’t human and they’re waiting for the plastic surgery scars to heal; it’s the AntiChrist, born just before the Brangelina Jesus baby, and they had to saw the horns off

Or maybe Katie is suffering from good old postpartum depression, and those vitamins aren’t helping much. Judging from her dead-eyed appearance lately, that could be the case. Or maybe she’s just bored silly with all the soccer games she has to attend to look like a good stepmother.

Anyway, whatever the real story is---and interestingly, the idea that it really is Tom Cruise’s bio kid and that they’re just keeping the baby out of the spotlight as long as they can never comes up as a possibility---I feel sorry for the wee Suri creature in all of this. Whether she’s alien, robot, or Cruise, the poor little thing is crying out for rescue.

Save Suri! Game Rules

Based on games like Parcheesi, the object of the game is to be the first player to get to the center and rescue Suri from the evil aliens threatening her. For 2 – 4 players, you’ll need a pair of dice and game markers. Each player starts at the tail of one alien, rolls the dice and jumps that many spaces. The color you land on will indicate your next action.

Yellow: Mommy shops for shoes hours before “birth”; gets great deal on Jimmy Choo boots, go ahead 3 spaces!

Orange: Daddy jumps on a piece of furniture or dances badly on TV, go back two spaces

Green: One of Daddy’s ex wives gets publicity, which takes away from Daddy’s media blitz, go back one space

Purple: Mommy escapes from Scientology compound but gets caught by handlers; sit out the next round in the grey “silent birth” room, and not a peep out of you!

Rose: Mommy signed a secret 5 year contract for millions of dollars, and she’s only got 4 years to go: go ahead 1 space

Blue: Daddy tries to convert another celebrity to Scientology, give next turn to another player

Comments

[Walter Paisley]

Good God! I must have this in my Zen room!

[Madame M]

It's like Candyland on paparazzo-strength steroids!

I must say, it's really a beautiful piece.

[14]

I LOOOOOVE this!!!!

What if the Suri kid is ugly and they're too embarassed to show the thing off? Santa, that's what I want for Christmas. I've beeen a very good girl, I've worked very hard, I'm a nice person...PLEASE let Suri be ugly as my reward.

[Sarag]

Why does everyone forget she went to visit Josh in London like two weeks before her mysterious meeting with TC? Just saying. Maybe, it's his

[Kipling]

Who is Josh? Sorry, I'm not really up on Miss Holmes' boyfriends...I thought her pre-Cruise/still-a-virgin BF was someone named Chris?

As for 14's comment, maybe she's got Downs Syndrome or something? Would they be able to keep that under wraps for so long?

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Or maybe she’s just bored silly with all the soccer games she has to attend to look like a good stepmother.

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It's great to hear from you and see what you've been up to. All of the projects look great! Thanks!

[Jamorama]

cool, strange, and very intriguing! that's the best description i can come up with lol

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What if the Suri kid is ugly and they're too embarassed to show the thing off? Santa, that's what I want for Christmas. I've beeen a very good girl, I've worked very hard, I'm a nice person...PLEASE let Suri be ugly as my reward.

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