foureyedbat

The Pummer Primer: Introduction

The Pummer Primer: Introduction

The Pummer Primer: Introduction

: I'm cutting some scans here because there are several pages of badly handwritten text:

Introduction The Pummer story is essentially a moral tale, a Westpop's fable if you will. These stories explored cause and effect in the lives of Pummers, and through them, the innocent children who were the real subjects of the stories.

Pummer stories could be quite simple (see Story One) or very complicated, depending on Dad's mood at the time of telling. There are really only two rules in a Pummer story, and they are:

1) There must be a really annoying moral present, having to do with some recent failing on the part of the person the story is being told to, and

2) The Pummer has to die at the end of the story. The only known exception to the Second Rule is the story of the Mexican Hat Pummer, the last story in this collection. It remains a mystery as to why this one specimen of Pummer survived his fellows. Perhaps Dad felt a special affinity for this poor creature, the pathos of the destruction of his prized hat and the joy of its recovery. Maybe it's just that this is the only musical Pummer story told and it gave Dad a really good excuse to sing a really bad song. At one time it was decided what a Pummer looked like. Unfortunately, they were so very ugly and complicated that I've mercifully forgotten most of it. (Besides, who's illustrating this, anyway?)

Pummers did have at least one distinguishing feature that the memory does not hesitate to recall, and that is the pointed tail that the Pummer would use as a convenient stool. At the end of the tail there was a red eye which enabled the Pummer to see what he was about to sit on. (see Fig. 1)

The Pummer Primer: Table of Contents

Table of Contents

Story One: The Classic Pummer Story

Story Two: The Pummer That Would Not Do The Dishes

Story Three: The Pummer That Would Not Do Her Math Homework

Story Four: The Pummer That Would Not Get Off The Phone

Story Five: The Pummer Who Wet The Bed

Story Six: The Pummer That Stole

Story Seven: The Pummer Who Would Not Eat Liver

Story Eight: The Mexican Hat Pummer

The Pummer Primer

This is a book I wrote and illustrated for my dad, back in 1988. I'll be scanning it and posting it for your reading pleasure, as I feel the world needs to know about the tragic history of Pummers.

My parents' house burned down with this book in it; the book survived through smoke and water damage, so some of the pages are wrinkled and colors have bled through the paper. There is still a faint smell of smoke detectable, if you sniff hard enough.

The Pummer Primer: half title page