Gibsons, B.C.'s Sunshine Coast - where it rains about 366 days of the year. Famed location of the CBC megahit The Beachcombers, a TV show that ran some 62 years despite the fact that not a single Canadian ever watched it.
We had lunch at the world-famous Molly's Reach - another Beachcombers landmark - where we were told to sit anywhere we liked. Once seated we were instructed to move despite the lack of suitable tables anywhere else and without any assistance from the waitress who never once made eye contact. Three of us crammed around a table for two, we then proceeded to enjoy a long leisurely wait for our food. Luckily the fare was tasty and the beer frosty. From our window overlooking the cove we could see pods of vicious killer whales eating tourists.
Later the ghost of Bruno Gerussi could be seen hovering over the marina awkwardly struggling to shave his back.
Like a good many people, summer for me means elephant ears and fried Snickers at the state fair, hot buttered popcorn at the drive-in, and all-you-can-eat barbecue at Smokey's Iron Pig. As a result, I've put on some summer weight. When I swim, my wake rocks oil tankers. So I'm eating fruit. And fruit is weird. It's mottled and weird and quickly rots. It sits in the bowl, mocking me. Fruit is chilly, while fast food is gregarious and warm! Always happy to see me! Sure, it's a con, but hey, I'm game. Fruit, on the other hand, has no advertising to sucker me in, no cool graphics to seduce me, and no sugar or oil to tickle my innards, so why eat it? It's good for you.
"Yah, yah, yabba-dadda-doo!" Tumbling dice on green felt. If adrenaline is addictive, this coppertone, gold chain cowboy is a stone cold junkie with eyes like pinholes, shaking the dice, blowing on them, and flinging them at the far wall. "Baby needs a new pair a SHOES!" He's been on a roll and made money for all these passline bettors, but this time he sevens out. Everyone boos. Cowboy gulps down his whiskey-rocks and disappears.
I was down in Las Vegas for a few days, and all that curvilinear fuchsia and mango jazz was a lot of fun, despite the hundred-and-ten degree heat on the Strip. It was surreal. Disneyland on the surface of Mercury. Old school casinos and new palaces with marble floors and Chihulys, beautiful fountains, even a fake Eiffel Tower!
I had some luck at roulette, betting red and black. I was using "Oscar's Grind," a betting system appeared in Allan Wilson's "The Casino Gambler's Guide," copyright 1965. This guy -- known only as "Oscar" -- claimed modest but consistent profits with this method. Next time you're in Vegas, try Oscar's Grind. Maybe you'll get lucky.