foureyedbat

Dating for Douches

A confusing and unpleasant ad grabbed from my Facebook sidebar, this seems to be promoting love for single men with kids...but not single women with kids. Mothers need not apply.

I'm not a mother in search of a second chance at love, but if I were, I imagine this would feel a bit 'our kids are fine but yours aren't'. Basically it's a site looking for childless wanna-be stepmothers, which is perhaps a rather specialized demographic, and could be better targeted. Maybe a little truth in the ad copy would improve their chances? I suggest:

 "Single dads seeking childless women to do the work of mothering without the credit; to take all the blame whenever anything goes wrong in the family, to worship at the shrine of The Mother of His Children without question, and to be the instant Bad Guy in any situation."

 They might not get as many replies, but at least the ladies will know what they're in for.

Arkansas changes state seal

Here is the original version.

And here is the revised state seal.

Novercaphobia

Novercaphobia is fear of one's stepmother, which is encouraged in the fairy tales you've been fed since before you remember. Since 30 million children in the US alone currently live with a step-parent (more stats on stepfamilies here) and chances are very good they will grow up to be stepparents, you'd think maybe it was time to drop that particular stereotype, but it shows no sign of disappearing anytime soon.

A piece done for "The Apple Show" at Uppercase Gallery, Calgary, way back in June 2005.
Acrylic on wood.

Spanish for your Nanny

A delicious, tangy palette cleanser to savour after reading this sugary, overcooked paean to the Holy White Child in Manhattan by The Washington Post.

The Big Apple's Little Boom
As Fewer Parents Head for the Burbs, Manhattan Is Crawling With Kids
By Robin Shulman
Washington Post Staff Writer
Sunday, March 30, 2008

Genetic Immortality

Over on my other blog Seven Deadly Sinners, by far the most linked and searched for post is the Breeder Bingo Card. When I was researching that one I used arguments people have used on me, or things people have said to friends. Some stuff is a matter of opinion, like the relative awesomeness of "new baby smell" or the pertinence of an ancient and often mis-translated book, and some things just make no sense to me whatsoever.

Like the concept of genetic immortality.

I confess whenever I hear that one a picture something like this pops into my head. The sun is going Red Giant (in about 5 billion years), and the last human alive is there to see it. All his generations of ancestors, millions upon trillions, are proudly proclaiming "WE WON!" (represented here by two cavemen, as I'm lazy and also will never pass up an opportunity to draw cavemen and dinosaurs together. Sorry, Mr. Ryan!)

The dinosaur ancestor of that last chicken is the real "winner", though, don't you think?

Breeder Bingo

A little graphic I did that seems to have taken on a life of its own.

Spam Art: Teat Frugal

Fun with Romulus and Remus!

The Family Square

When you're a little girl, you don't dream your prince on a white horse may have a pony or two behind him, carrying the kids he's already had. And you probably don't realize, after you marry your prince, that in a lot of people's eyes you are suddenly The Bad Guy. There's a term for you, missy, and it starts with "evil" or "wicked".

I have it good, because I'm married to a guy who is a great father, who doesn't expect me to be a mother to his kids. The kids are people I like; smart and funny, their mother has her own life, and I have a studio where I can go hide. And it took me a long time to get to this point.

Not everyone has it so good. This week on Dear Prudence a woman wrote in about her stepson driving her nuts, and she got torn a new one. Now, this lady may have phrased it badly (or, I suspect, was edited to sound worse than she was), but what I read is not the ravings of a monster but a woman who is trying and floundering, and expressing some valid resentment.

The thing is, a biomother can complain about her children from dawn till dusk (as long as she adds the disclaimer "it's all worth it" at the end), but don't let a stepmother ever indicate that taking care of someone else's kids isn't the Best Thing Ever, or suddenly she's got a house made of candy and a stove warming up. Stepfamilies take years to "settle". It's not easy, and it's not black and white. Amazingly, there may not actually be a "bad guy" in most step situations. Men and women marry, have children, and often divorce. Unless a divorced or single parent expects to stay single for the rest of their lives, stepparents are a reality. Fathers, don't expect your second wife to mother children that aren't hers, and mothers...you may also be a stepmother some day, so don't assume the worst about the women who already are.

The Angry Stomachs

Here's a touching story of family unity; eleven cousins who had their stomachs surgically removed to avoid a genetic timebomb in the form of a rare form of stomach cancer. It's pretty horrifying, but you have to admire them spiking old Tummy's guns, so to speak. And hey, it's a great weight loss method.

What stood out to me, though, was one little omitted detail; since this is a genetic trait, will this family stop breeding? Will they start adopting? There is no mention of another generation of children with angry stomachs, so you have to wonder...what happens next?

[this story is now on the CNN site, via BoingBoing]

You've Come a Long Way...Maybe

This is a Clorox ad appearing on page 21 in the June 12 edition of Star Magazine.

How comforting it is to know that in the 20th century women gained the right to vote, to work alongside men for [almost] equal wages, to control their own fertility (and thereby their destiny), to be educated, to be independent...and here at the dawn of the 21st century women just want to stay home and pop out babies. Thanks for pointing this out, Clorox! I'd be offended, but I can't think over the LOUD TICKING OF MY BIOLOGICAL CLOCK.