Boris Von Wankenstein

So, my man, Ian-Lee Lucero (of I.L.L. Productions), and I had the dubious honor of dog-sitting Kipling's old dog Boris for the last week.  This dog is, ummm, well, hmmm, how do I put it... he's special. I won't be too mean here as I know Kipling loves her little doggy and I do feel a bit sorry for him as he's a grumpy physical mess, and I know how it is to love a gross little old beast that others may find repellent. However. This guy was not happy to be left with me. It was an interesting few days of learning how to avoid being attacked by him while at the same time preventing him from dragging his stinky anal glands all over every non-washable item in my apartment. Then there were the out-of-nowhere, middle of the night, satanic, blood curdling, pterodactyl/rooster screams that emanated from this furry troll.
At least he wasn't attacking me continuously, as he passed some of the time practicing unique and charming stress relief techniques. Fortunately Ian, being a professional videographer, had his trusty dvx here to capture the magic for you. And while suffering shortcomings in certain other areas of life, I must say that Boris Von Wankenstein is a true adult film professional, performing wonderfully under the pressure of an audience, lights & camera- even encouraged by such things.
This might go well with a glass of wine, and perhaps a cigarette to finish.  Enjoy.

-Kamala

*As well as being a dog-pornographer, Ian has other talents. Learn about them here: http://www.ianlucero.com/

For Quicktime 6
http://ianlucero.com/myspace/video/boris_wanken01_mp4_300k.mov

For Quicktime 7
http://ianlucero.com/myspace/video/boris_wanken01_h264_300k.mov /

Comments

[Kipling]

My baby is famous!
The music...brilliant! The slo-mo tongue...hire Ian for your next wedding video! Or better yet, the wedding NIGHT video!

Loving a stinky old dog is like loving a stinky new baby; no one gets it but you.
Oh wait. A lot of delusional people think stinky new babies are cute...nevermind. I prefer the dog. He's very sweet, but only with me, so I'm aware the rest of the world thinks he's horrid.

[Kamala]

He did finally let me pet him the last day I had him, and might have actually enjoyed it. Not sure. But the highlight of the entire week, to be sure, was Boris's mastery of the studiously practiced, time honored technique that you see on display in the Oscar-nominated "Leave Me Alone". Regardless of whatever else transpired that week, my approval of Mr. Von Wankenstein soared on that fateful night that he revealed to me 'his moves'.

[Kipling]

Old Boris is back home and happily sleeping on the couch again, for those of you who were worried about him. He's a bit freaky at the best of times, and his brother died on Halloween so he's been an "only dog" for a very short while. Being dropped off at a new place for a few days put him over the top. Kamala did a great job of dealing with his insanity, so quit sending her mean emails about using his wanking on video for her own nefarious ends!

Disclaimer for the very stupid: NO DOGS WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THAT VIDEO.

[Kaleido]

wowwweeeee! Oweeeeee! ;o Get that guy some Men's Cream. Funny shit yo. Much appreciated tummy ache, that's definitely going in my vj rotation.

[Tansy Wellers]

Holy CRAP. I heart Boris! Fuckin hilarious. I am spreading this to the world, at times like these everybody needs a little more Boris action. And yeah, Boris, you might want to check that Men's Cream stuff out- I hear it helps with the rawness. Ouch. THANK YOU!!!!

[Gillian]

Man, Boris, get it!! Geez whizz, can I send Ian some footage of my horny little beast to edit into a pet porn like that? That's absolute genious. And what's this I hear about grumpy people emailing nasty things to Kamala anyway? I'm curious to know of the complaints of those who can't appreciate a good dog porn when they see it. A true travesty.

[Ebert Siskel]

This film approaches a delicate subject with a gentle hand. Alone, sad, stinking of nasty gas, he remains trapped in his own defense system -- his foul clouds keeping away the thing he most needs: a frisky she-dog. This film gets two enthusiastic thumbs up!