Breeder Bingo Card

Two events happened in the last week, which spurred me to finish this little project I’ve had in mind for a while.

First, yet another Fert-litter was born, on March 30 in Seattle. Only five this time, so they probably won’t get the endorsements an End-Times-indicating seven would receive. In Brian W. Aldiss' 1965 "The Saliva Tree" the horror was based in the idea of the sheer wrongness of human women having litters of babies. Yet now it’s become routine. Only the escalating size of the numbers is exciting.

Meanwhile, this guy has come out and said what the smart people have already figured out; in an interconnected biosphere with limited resources, there are too many people, and at some point we have to say, “Give it a rest”. In a time when the world is warming, the ice caps are melting, and non-human species die off every day, it seems obvious that people need to put the brakes on the breeding. People are stupid though. Instead of realizing we’re about to hit a wall, we’ll ignore it by celebrating the latest triumph of science over good sense. And we’ll revile Cassandra.

Extra special thanks to Erin for the funky typeface, and to Phil for remembering the Saliva Tree.

Comments

[Kate]

Where do I start with the bingos, where do I start...

I'm glad I now have a colour card to whip out and check off whenever I get bingoed.

[Kamala]

Nice one. Pretty much sums it up.
Boy these quintuplet people are real geniuses eh? Spending who knows how much money to create 5 new artificial weakling babies hooked to tubes when they don't have the means to care for them all and they already had one kid. Yay! What an AMAZING MIRACLE! God clearly did it! Adopting already existing kids in need of help just wasn't going to cut it huh? What fabulous Christians. And their church is congratulating their wonderful choice by raising money to build them a new house! Go donate money here!

5ontheway.com/

(you may barf when you see site, don't say I didn't warn you)
My head hurts.

[Kamala]

Looks like you don't get worshipped and pampered as much when your quintuplets aren't pasty little white things:

"Few Answering Quintuplets' Needy Cries"

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/11/12/AR2005111201159.html

[Kipling]

I've heard at least half of those from my own mother. If I get a full card, do I win a toaster?

[Christian Brood Marm]

I home school my 12 children and the Lord has blessed us.

You have a FEW reasons for not having children, but here are 101 reasons for having children, o ye barren heathen!

http://www.aboverubies.org/articles/101.html

[Janet]

Thank You, Christian Brood Marm! Speak the Truth, Sister!
101 reasons indeed! My personal favorite is #5: "It's an honor for the Lord to use my womb again." These poor angry folks must be jealous because they have never known the joys of having the Lord move betwixt their wombs.

[Barren Karen]

Yikes. What a scary pink mess.
I especially like numbers 14, 15, 29, 80, 92, 93, 95. Totally selfless reasons for having babies. Yup.

[Twixy Womb]

Sure we know the joy of the Lord. He just uses condoms with us.

[Beans]

Holy crap! This stuff is weirding me out. I'll add my little two cents: if women are suppose to be in touch with their bodies and are put here by God to create new life, then you would think that women would also be in touch with where it all comes from - Mother Nature. If Mother Nature is suffering because we are over-populating, then what do you think will eventually happen? She'll have an abortion.

[Capt. Surly]

I think the Earth's abortion has already begun. That professor speaks the truth. Yep, the Earth is about to shake a whole bunch of us off like fleas. Hey, is that an asteroid I see? Waaahoooooooo!!!