Breeder Bingo Card

Two events happened in the last week, which spurred me to finish this little project I’ve had in mind for a while.

First, yet another Fert-litter was born, on March 30 in Seattle. Only five this time, so they probably won’t get the endorsements an End-Times-indicating seven would receive. In Brian W. Aldiss' 1965 "The Saliva Tree" the horror was based in the idea of the sheer wrongness of human women having litters of babies. Yet now it’s become routine. Only the escalating size of the numbers is exciting.

Meanwhile, this guy has come out and said what the smart people have already figured out; in an interconnected biosphere with limited resources, there are too many people, and at some point we have to say, “Give it a rest”. In a time when the world is warming, the ice caps are melting, and non-human species die off every day, it seems obvious that people need to put the brakes on the breeding. People are stupid though. Instead of realizing we’re about to hit a wall, we’ll ignore it by celebrating the latest triumph of science over good sense. And we’ll revile Cassandra.

Extra special thanks to Erin for the funky typeface, and to Phil for remembering the Saliva Tree.

Comments

[Kate]

Geez, Capt. Surly, don't freak me out. I was watching the Discovery channel at 3 am and watching a bit on if an asteroid 500 km across hit Earth in the western pacific. Japan would be instantly vapourized, all land life would spontaneously combust by a 6000C heat wave within an hour, and the seas would boil off and dry up with in a day. And you know what it's like watching that late at night...

I've seen the 101 reasons, makes me want the asteroid option instead!

[katy]

I love it. If having kids is so wonderful that you'll love it if you try it, how come so many people are now stopping at one?

By the way, you never EVER forget the pain of child birth. However, sleep deprivation does tend to make you forget much of the first six months of your child's life.

You forgot a reason. Slave labor.

[Cranky McCrankenstein]

The whole thing is, the Breeder Bingo card isn't anti-kid. It's just 'sick of the same stupid comments over and over and over again', which isn't the fault of kids. Kids don't really care if you do or don't have kids.

It's pretty clear to me if you read the outraged comments by that one guy about "Dr. Doom" that he missed out a lot of the conversation, and he's a guy with no sense of humor and a very literal take on things. I doubt a room full of anyone would clap and cheer at the idea that 90% of the human population was gonna die a horrible death. I can see a scientist praising the killing power of a virus and other scientists laughing if it was said in a funny way; but they are scientists and able to separate that stuff in order to get their work done. Knowing something is very powerful and dangerous, but making a bit of fun of it is one way to handle it.

As for Fert-Litters...I don't see the point. God DIDN'T want you to have babies, you brainless ape. Quit pestering him to take care of the ones you foisted on him.

[Denise Giago]

BINGO!

[Bob]

I really enjoyed reading all these comments. There is so much pressure to have children. I really like kids I don't have any, nor feel the need to be a parent in order to fulfill my destiny. People who have kids can get so tiresome, like people who quit drinking -- suddenly they understand the meaning of life!

[Noelle]

Fertlitter? Breeder Bingo? You aren't a denizen of ASCF, are you?? :)

[Kipling]

Guilty. At least, I used to read it years ago. I got tired of the trolls and flame wars, but there were some cool folks on there...how is Gutterboy these days, anyway?

[gothceltgirl]

I hear pretty much most of the same comments again and again. Especially the 'what about when you get old' and 'you'll change your mind'. Luckily I have a best friend who, although has a son herself & wants another one (although she knows it isn't prudent at this time)understands my views and is very supportive of my life choice, as are all of my friends.

[doo dah...]

I googled Breeder bingo card because I was working on one of my own for an art project I am doing. How pleased I was to come upon this site. Some great artwork here.

I am not a member of ASCF, but I am CF. Funny that people just can't seem to shut up about being parents and have to bingo your breeder bingo card. 101 reasons my foot.

[Mrs. Ogre]

These breederisms and the 101 reasons are in fact reasons not to have any children.